As a parent, you have hopes and dreams for your child — that they’ll be happy, healthy, and celebrate life’s milestones. You don’t plan for your child to receive a cancer diagnosis before their second birthday.  

At just 14 months old, Tristan Rempel was diagnosed with ependymoma brain cancer after his brain tumour erupted. While he made a miraculous recovery, his cancer came back when he was three years old, and his parents, Jenn and Matt, received the agonizing news that their son’s cancer was terminal. 

It was at this time that the Rempel family was introduced to Canuck Place Children’s Hospice, the only pediatric palliative care provider for children and families across British Columbia and the Yukon. Canuck Place services include in-hospice medical respite and family support, pain and symptom management, a provincial 24-Hour Clinical Care Line, music and recreation therapy, education and art, grief, loss and bereavement counselling, as well as end-of-life care. All at no cost to families. 

After their initial meeting with Canuck Place clinicians, the Rempels immediately felt a sense of relief — identifying their care goals for Tristan and how they could work with Canuck Place to achieve them.  

“Canuck Place nurses supported our desire to stay at home, outside of Williams Lake, for as long as possible and the team was available to us by phone, email and video chat whenever we needed them,” says Jenn.  

Rempel Family mementos
The Rempel family created special mementoes of Tristan with the recreation therapy team at Canuck Place.

Canuck Place nurses also arranged to have in-home care nurses visit the Rempel family several times a week, to manage Tristan’s medical appointments, organize his medications and show Jenn how to administer them. 

In addition to care coordination for Tristan, the Rempels received Canuck Place counselling support, helping them navigate their complex feelings of grief. Like many families, their grief began from the moment Tristan was diagnosed — anxious about what the future held. 

“For me, the question became: how do I process my grief while Tristan is still alive without letting that steal what I have with him in the present?” says Jenn. 

Matt and Jenn found an unexpected beauty in their grief. It allowed them to be intentional with the time they had left. “Together, we poured a lifetime of memories into two years and made the most of every minute that we had with Tristan,” Jenn explains

Knowing that time is something you will never get back, presented us with the opportunity to spend quality time together as a family. 

Jenn Rempel

Canuck Place Mom

The entire Rempel family would travel to Canuck Place for medical respite care, giving Matt and Jenn some much needed rest and renewal, while their other children, Jordin, Liam and Caleb, could enjoy various activities together with the recreation therapy team like tie-dye crafts, trips to the Vancouver Bloedel Conservatory and Vancouver Canucks games. Counselling support while they were at the hospice allowed each member of the Rempel family to navigate the complex journey of grief.  

“Canuck Place counsellors Emily Watson and Natasha Zacher helped our boys out so much. Both Liam and Caleb felt safe and opened up to them as they processed their grief and what it meant to lose their brother. They also helped Matt and I work through some of the unknowns with the kids,” says Jenn. 

At Canuck Place, hope and heartbreak are intertwined. And if you love deeply, you grieve deeply.  

Rempel family doing tye-dye arts and crafts at Glen Brae Manor
Canuck Place siblings Jordin, Liam and Caleb Rempel make tie-dyed crafts during a medical respite stay for the whole family at Canuck Place.

“I did a lot of grieving before Tristan died,” Jenn shares. “And when he did die, I saw that as a continuation of what was already happening. I was able to find healing in grief and learned that grief goes hand-in-hand with heartache, but there is also a lot of peace in it as well.”  

Canuck Place counsellors understand that grief is complex. Grief support doesn’t take away the pain of losing a child — it helps families find coping mechanisms, learn to express their grief and continue to live while holding their grief. This past year alone, Canuck Place provided 3,143 grief and bereavement counselling sessions for families like the Rempels. 

On average, a child is part of the Canuck Place program for six years and their parents and siblings remain on the bereavement program for an additional three years. Today, the Rempel family continues to be supported by Canuck Place counsellors, as they navigate the loss of their beloved Tristan.

With the support of donors, no family at Canuck Place walks the journey of grief alone. “First we would like to say thank you,” says Jenn. “Without your donations, the high standard of care we received at Canuck Place would not be possible. Memories were created to carry Tristan in our hearts for the rest of our lives because we weren’t alone.” 

When you donate from now until December 31, your gift will be matched thanks to generous matching partners such as John and Claire Nicola, Helen Edwards, BC Bakery & Deli Foundation and the Douglas C Gordon Family Foundation.  

With you, Canuck Place gives short lives like Tristan’s, the chance to shine. Light a life. Give today by visiting Canuckplace.org/donate.

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A version of this story appeared in Vancouver Sun on November 28, 2024.